With our new coach, we learned how to work through conflict, how to express ourselves more effectively, and most importantly, how to listen and actually hear each other. That’s not to say that every session was easy, felt good, or resolved all our issues — but doing the work, worked. We’d wake up after a session able to process the other’s point of view. Even if we still disagreed, we understood each other. That was the foundation of our bond and our business.
The communication and emotional regulation skills we learned made our jobs and our lives easier. As we learned to really hear each other, we shared these tools with our team, and integrated them into SoulCycle’s ethos. As a result, our colleagues and staff were able to understand each other and our riders in a way that made people feel like they mattered.
When it came to our personal lives, as we poured everything into Soul, we struggled at home. Our husbands were our biggest supporters, but every interaction felt like a negotiation over childcare, a battle over household responsibilities, or a logistics meeting. We either overcompensated and tried to do everything ourselves, which left us feeling resentful, or we felt neglected because we didn’t know how to ask for what we needed. Every argument felt like Groundhog Day. A therapist recommended that we read Getting The Love You Want by researchers and therapists Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. The book gave us practical tools that taught us how to best express our needs, and how to remain connected as we figured it all out. It helped us want to stay married!
Within a few short years, we opened dozens of SoulCycle locations across the country, and traveled nonstop to introduce local teams to the methodology and magic. People came to our studios weary from their jobs, their kids, and their partners — and then they hopped on a bike and let it all go. It was amazing to witness the breakthroughs riders had when the lights were low and an instructor reminded them that they were worth something. SoulCycle taught people that making a small commitment to themselves could make a world of a difference in their lives.